Hellfire
by Saori Aki Orimi
Summary: Yami no Malik and Yami no Bakura have been sent to Hell. And they're about to drag their hikaris down with them.
1. The Road to Hell

.:.Hellfire.:.

Summary: Yami no Malik and Yami no Bakura have been sent to Hell. And they're about to drag their hikaris down with them.

Chapter 1: The Road to Hell

The Pharaoh could not have known when he banished them that they would ever have met in the depths of the Void sector of the Shadow Realm. He definitely never would have suspected that they both would manage to escape from that bottomless pit. If he had been told information that either of these had happened, well, he would be duly shocked.

However, the method of escaping would have shocked him beyond both of these combined.

For the Void sector had a bottom- a bottom that was thought not to exist. But of course, such a pair had never been banished to it before.

Yes, there was a bottom to the Void. Yes, they had found it. The catch?

It led straight into Hell.

Yami no Malik and Yami no Bakura, known for convenience as Mariku and Bakura, looked around their new surroundings. After all, Hell was somewhat different than the Shadow Realm.

Hell was rather an anti-climax.

Sure, fires burned everywhere, but only in rows, patches, and along cracks in alleyways. Perfectly normal looking houses, buildings, and streets smothered the fires elsewhere. There were no screams of the tormented.

In fact, other than the darkness and the fires, it looked like a normal town. Around them were normal-looking people dressed in a variety of clothes, some outlandish, some normal. A group of men walked by in business suits, talking urgently among themselves.

"I know what's weird about this place." Bakura said.

"Aside from the fires burning everywhere and the otherwise lack of light?" Mariku asked, staring about avidly, the firelight reflecting oddly in his violet eyes. Or, that could just be the odd reddish glint of barely-hidden insanity.

Not that Bakura minded insane. He had been dubbed so enough times himself.

An ache was starting to form around his ribs. Strange. Maybe the heat? But no, he couldn't feel the temperature. Wasn't hell supposed to be about torturing people? It certainly wasn't doing a good job. Maybe it got worse as time went on.

"There's no sidewalk. Everybody just walks on the road. No cars."

"Ohh..." Mariku said, bright eyes adjusting themselves to this piece of information.

However, at that moment, as if to disprove his point, a limousine pulled up, cruising slowly along the streets. People looked at it and stepped to the side.

"Look, it's Lucifer."

"Lord of Hell going on a walkie?"

"Haven't seen his bitch in years."

"Didn't you hear? She got married. To some guy from Earth."

"Earth? I heard he was a demon."

Bakura tuned them out. The gem of the conversation was the first statement: that was Lucifer, Satan himself.

"Did you hear that?" Mariku asked, tugging on the slightly shorter teen's collar, due to the lack of sleeve. The trip out of the Shadow Realm had dressed them in what they had been wearing before banishment:

A sleeveless black shirt, open-sided and with three buckles holding it closed at either side, plus black jeans- not exactly tight, but not loose, either, for Bakura.

A t-shirt that had been cut, tied and painted on so as to be almost unrecognizable, revealing a strip of golden skin and hugging his form was coupled with black cargo pants and the dramatic navy cap for Mariku. As a soul, your clothes were simply what you imagined yourself in.

"No, no, Mariku, I missed it. They were ONLY talking for the entire STREET to hear." he griped sarcastically.

"They said it was Lucifer!"

"Thank you for that reiteration. Your point being?"

"If we take that guy out, Hell is OURS!"

A slow grin spread across Bakura's face. Now _there_ was an idea worth pursuing.


	2. The Lord of Hell

.:.Hellfire.:.

Summary: Yami no Malik and Yami no Bakura have been sent to Hell. And they're about to drag their hikaris down with them.

Chapter 2: The Lord of Hell

* * *

(Several Hours Later)

Lucifer was afraid. Very, very afraid. Though a fire spirit was almost impossible to kill, it didn't keep him from feeling pain. He was pretty sure his girlfriend of long-ago was immune to pain, but she was the only person like that he knew. Lucifer tried to avoid pain. He hadn't experienced it in a while.

A long, long while.

He also hadn't felt fear for a while, but that was a much shorter while- the last time he and Filora had had a fight, five years ago. She hadn't come back, but he had heard that she had been around lately. Which was worrisome, but not what had him twitching in near-all out panic.

No, the source of his panic were the two weapon wielding, human maniacs who had recently invaded the Hell dimension. Or... he thought they were human. The dark-skinned one definitely sounded like a demon, actually. And the other... well, silver hair and red eyes just didn't occur in humans.

Oh God! There were demons after him!

Now, Lucifer wasn't a coward–

Oh wait. Yes he was. He was a downright wuss. And after one encounter with these people, that left him with just one choice of what to do.

Where could he hide that wouldn't be checked?

* * *

"Hey Ryou."

"Hai?"

"I'm bored."

"Wasn't that why you came over here?"

"I'm still bored."

Ryou sighed, looking at the boy slumped backwards off his bed. He himself was seated on the carpet. Malik Ishtar, however, was not willing to go for such a tame seating plan, and thus, his head and torso were bent backwards over the edge of the bed, light blonde hair falling to pool on the ground and golden skin stained mocha from gravity's effect on his circulatory system.

"So am I." Ryou admitted, laying two cards facedown. "Two fours."

"Bullshit." Malik grumped, leafing through his cars.

Ryou lacklustrely gathered the pile and added it to his hand.

"Can't we at least play something other than this?" Malik whined.

"I told you it'd be boring with only two people. You said, and I quote, 'The other ones are too fucking simple to ever achieve anything good.'"

"Well, at least this one had lyng and cheating built in!" Malik protested.

"Yes, but it's really no good without at least three people, and four or more works best."

"So... where are we gonna get people?"

Ryou raised a silvery brow. "Malik, who is there? Excluding mind-slaves? There's the Yuugi-tachi, but–"

"Anyone but them." Malik groaned, running his hands through his hair. It sparkled prettily in a shaft of sun coming in the window.

"They're not really all that bad." Ryou reasoned, but Malik just shook his head, making his face take on a tint of cinnamon.

"They're all still nervous of me."

"That's because even without Mariku, you're still slightly off the deep end."

"Bakura rubbed off on you."

"Maybe."

Malik sighed, placing three cards down and not even bothering to announce them.

"This would be a lot more fun with them here."

"You're going to give yourself a headache."

"I already have." Malik replied, closing his eyes and letting his cards scatter across the floor.

* * *

Bakura and Mariku were sitting in Lucifer's office in the "Governmental Building" of Hell's capital, in which it appeared they were. Mariku was making himself dizzy in the rolling chair, while Bakura sprawled across the desk, having liberated it of the more poky things like pens, pencils, and picture frames. The papers, he couldn't care less about. If one or two got crunch, well, too bad so sad.

"That was too easy." Mariku said in a voice that was half triumphant announcement, part whining.

"Mm-hmm." Bakura answered, watching the Egyptian's blonde spikes of hair wave in the circular wind patterns created by his spinning. The fire lighting the room lent a devilish glint to his eyes as his face whisked past Bakura again and again.

Bakura watched, impassive, as the chair began to wobble back and forth almost as much as round and round.

"I mean, really, it only took about four hours."

"Mariku..." Bakura began.

With a crash, the chair fell off its post, sending the Egyptian yami into an undignified heap on the ground.

"You might want to spin it the other way for a while." he finished, smirking.

"I'll keep that in mind." Mariku muttered, weaving a bit as he tried to get up.

"Oh, Luuu-ci-fer!" a voice caroled from the hall. The door to the office was thrown open unceremoniously, and a young woman, 17, 18 maybe, was standing there.

She had on a short, low-cut black dress, burgundy belts with bronze studs looped about her waist, arms, neck, and criss-crossed down her legs. Her feet were bare, her figure a show-stopper, her hair an orangish-burgundy, and pulled back into a long ponytail jingling with odd jewels, beads, braids, and string. Her eyes were a glaring red-orange. She was about Bakura's height, and she was looking at them dumbstruck.

"You're not Lucifer." she remarked, recovering amazingly fast.

"Nope!" Mariku chimed.

"Actually, we're looking for him. Do you have any idea where he might be?"

She eyed the fanged grins and twin predator's looks in their eyes.

"Lessee, the bathroom, broom closet, next door building, the casino..." She began to list places, finally finishing with, "the next town over, the Earth dimension, oh, or, my place. I think he still has those keys." she said thoughtfully.

Mariku stared at her wide-eyed.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Filora. I used to date Luci a couple years back, but, you know, I got fed up with him. Ended up moving in with a man I liked even less, some people I know took us to Vegas, got us drunk off our asses, and got us married."

Mariku stared more. Apparently a crazy life story appealed to him, though Bakura suspected he would have liked it even better if it had more death and destruction in it.

"Right." he said, cutting her off before she could start more. "Can you tell us where these places are?"

She was only too happy to do so, ending with,

"Oh, and if you go to my place, don't mind Shinrya. She's just your average homicidal maniac who wants to take over the Earth."

"Sounds like my kind of person." Mariku said, eyes agleam, as the girl skipped out. "Let's go there first."

* * *

Sao: Right! Welcome to Hellfire, chapter two! From here on out, it gets interesting! (At least, I think so.)

Index of Japanese for the Uninformed:

Hai: Yes

Yuugi-tachi: Yugi's group

Yami: Dark side

Sao: Please review!


	3. Pain of Separation

.:.Hellfire.:. 

Summary: Yami no Malik and Yami no Bakura have been sent to Hell. And they're about to drag their hikaris down with them. 

Chapter 3: Pain of Separation

* * *

(About the time Mariku and Bakura are busy terrorizing Lucifer in his office) 

"Weekends are the worst." Malik griped. 

"Yeah." Ryou agreed. Malik had been moved back to Domino and enrolled in school after the banishment of their yamis. He didn't like it much, but it kept him generally out of trouble. 

For now they were at Ryou's apartment again, though for lack of things to do they were merely sitting at the kitchen table. Or ON the kitchen table, in Malik's case. 

Ryou drew in a sharp breath as something seemed to poke into his side. At the same time, Malik gasped, losing his balance and nearly falling- despite the fact that he had been sitting quite securely. 

"Oof…" he heard the other teen muttering. 

"What the hell was that?" he asked. 

"Dunno." Malik muttered, arms wrapped around himself as he slowly sat up. "'S like something took a bite out of my lung." 

Ryou could feel something- a slight burning around his heart, as though the heat of his blood had increased. But at least it hadn't made him fall over. 

"First boredom, now this. What the hell was Yami thinking when he sent them to the Shadow Realm?" 

"I dunno." Malik said, biting his lip. "But I miss Mariku." 

Ryou sighed. 

"I miss Bakura, too." he admitted quietly.

* * *

(Some time after Filora talked to them) 

"Ra-damn it all, does this place make any sense!" Mariku cursed. "This is the third time we've passed that damn hydrant!" 

"What is this place doing with a fire hydrant, anyway?" Bakura asked dreamily. Three hours after the meeting with Filora, and the ache around his ribs had turned to a constriction, making him go slightly dizzy from lack of air. Right now he was watching the firelit glow on Mariku's golden skin; it made shadows and glimmery highlights and looked very interesting all around. 

Mariku was currently walking along at an increased pace, Bakura guessed out of frustration with not finding the place. 

"Hey, Mariku?" he asked. The blonde turned to him. 

"Yes?" 

"Wouldn't you say that looks like the description?" He pointed to the five-story building he'd glimpsed through the alleyway. Mariku looked. 

"Yay! You found it!" he cried happily, giving Bakura's head a messy hug and running that way. Bakura followed, annoyedly trying (keyword- trying) to save his thick hair from Mariku's abuse. Unfortunately, the tangles kept him from running his hands through it properly, and he soon gave up.

* * *

Mariku examined the script on the door, but was unable to read it. He thought this was the right number, though. 

Something was going on- the longer he stayed here, the more his limbs burned, as if the blood in his veins had been turned to fires like those that flickered everywhere, filling his ears with a soft, crackling white noise. 

"Bakura! Is this the right one?" he demanded.

The silver-haired thief eyed the door speculatively.

"Hai." he responded, leaning against the wall as if bored. Mariku was bored, too (aside from the overall drag of 'moving hurt'). But he was hoping things were about to get a lot less boring.

"Ding-dong." the bell rang. Silence.

"Dingdongdingdongdingdongdingdong!"

Bakura was snickering next to him, his reddish eyes and silvery hair standing out in the near darkness of the hallway. The elongated canines gleamed for a moment when he laughed. Boy, Bakura would be freaky- if Mariku was sane enough to care.

"Impatient, aren't we?" he commented, a breathless tone sneaking into his already husky voice.

"Yes." Mariku responded, mashing the button again.

The door was whipped open, and Mariku blinked as he actually had to look up at the girl who was glaring at them. She had hair like fire- citrine at the roots and ruby at the ends, carelessly chopped short and ruffled. She wore a short, pleated gray skirt and a black tank top. Her figure was slim, her body rail-thin, which was even freakier due to her height. Her eyes were flat, charcoal black, with no shine to them at all.

* * *

Shinryakuteki Kazan, daughter of Filora and Zangan Kazan, was not happy when she came home. Food did not keep well in Hell, but she was the only one who cared- fire spirits didn't eat. She wasn't a full fire spirit- she was half 'alien thing with fire powers.' Or whatever the hell Zangan was. Nobody knew.

So she was hungry, pissed off at the stupid person who had tried to molest her on the street, and even more pissed off because her mother was a fool without an ounce of purpose in her life.

However, her day improved slightly when she opened the broom closet to discover a terrified-looking Lucifer, who attempted to ward her off with a broom until he realized who she was.

And then he was understandably respectful- all Hell knew about Filora, the one who had caused several disastrous volcanic eruptions (the most notable being Vesuvius and Mt. St. Helens), dared to publicly humiliate Lucifer, and who had gone off and gotten married to the oldest creature on Earth- the alien whose age was approximate to the planet itself.

And most fire spirits were slightly nervous of their daughter, who, at a little over 6 feet, was taller than most fire spirits, but weighed in at the human equivalent of 101 pounds.

"_What_ are you doing in our broom closet?" she asked the 'mighty lord of Hell.'

"I'm hiding from the crazy humans!" he cried. "You can't tell them I'm here! Please!"

Pfft. Groveling. Pathetic. At least Filora had dumped him _years_ ago. Really the spirit was over 5000 years old and he was pleading with _her _to hide him. She was barely _three_ years.

"You want me to hide you?"

"Please! Please, you have to! Don't let them know I'm here, if they come!"

"Fine, fine–"

The doorbell rang, and Lucifer's eyes widened in panic. He jerked the door closed.

The doorbell started up a cacophony of noise.

"Jeez." Shinrya muttered. "Is somebody playing the damn doorbell game?" She smirked. "If so, they better run fast."

The bell shrilled yet again.

"Very fast." she muttered, and yanked it open. She looked down an inch or two into reddish-glinted violet eyes set in a tanned face and outlined in heavy kohl, golden eye symbol set on his forehead.

"What is it?" she asked.

"We're looking for Scaredy-silly–" the blonde was cut off by an elbow from the pale shadow, which he reacted to rather more violently than the force deserved.

"We're looking for Lucifer." the elbow-jabber said.

"Why look here?" she asked, putting genuine curiosity into her voice.

"Pretty-hair–"

The shadow elbowed him again.

"Stop that-! That hurts!"

Red eyes sent a withering look his way.

"Filora sent us."

"Right." she said with a smirk, stepping aside and jerking a thumb inside. "He's in the broom closet."

Behind her she heard a choke.

* * *

Sao: Thank you those who have reviewed. I'm glad I did some inspiring. This fic was inspired by Final Judgement by Neko-chan -Silvered Tongue-. That's the truly amazing fic, though it is a one-shot.

Yes, this does have OC's in it. They are all fire spirits, and they're all related. They play a large role in the future. Hopefully they and their personalities will come across well. XP I worry about these things.

Reviewers are luffed, remember!


	4. To Kill a Fire Spirit

.:.Hellfire.:.

Summary: Yami no Malik and Yami no Bakura have been sent to Hell. And they're about to drag their hikaris down with them.

Chapter 4: To Kill a Fire Spirit.

* * *

"Really?" Mariku asked, eyes lighting up. Bakura managed to ignore the ache in his side from the force constricting his lungs, eagerly following the girl, who seemed mildly amused by their appearance.

"Yeah, wha'dya want him for?" she asked.

"We're gonna kill 'im!" Mariku announced happily.

"We're taking over Hell." Bakura added.

"Really now?" she asked. "Good for you. How you planning to kill him?"

Mariku grinned happily and pulled the hidden knife out of the Millennium Rod. Bakura flipped a hand knife up and caught it neatly.

"Mm. Excellent for torture, but you can't kill a fire spirit that way."

Mariku paused.

"... Then how do you?"

"Mmm... cold, mostly. Water works, but only on the weakest.

"... You mean like him?" he asked. She laughed out loud, a humorous but not enjoyable sound.

"No, unfortunately, not like him. While not the strongest anymore, he's still probably mid-range." She laughed again. "Don't tell the populace that."

"So..." Bakura stated, leaning against the wall and flipping the blade nonchalantly. "How cold is 'cold'?"

A feral grin appeared.

"Negative 200 degrees or more."

Mariku thought that over.

"Shadow Realm?" he asked, turning to Bakura.

"The North sector or the under-sector should do it." he said. "Or just to be sure, the North under-sector."

Mariku nodded. "I wish hikari was here. Mariku misses hikari-kin."

Bakura blinked. Maybe that was the constricting feeling around his ribs. Did he... actually miss Ryou?

The whirling images of soft chocolate eyes, snowy hair, and porcelain skin, of hesitant smiles and startled laughter, convinced him.

"Damn." he muttered. He missed his hikari as well.

The girl was looking at them oddly. In a sudden movement she laid her hands on their chests, eyes closed. Mariku gasped and pulled away violently.

"You two are incomplete souls, aren't you?" she asked, turning accusing black eyes on them.

"Maybe?" Bakura suggested.

* * *

Mariku blinked at the revelation of why his insides were burning to a crisp. Not only did it burn to move, it felt like something vital collapsed when she touched him. He figured it hadn't actually, but it felt that way. Because their hikaris were somewhere else? It made sense... he thought.

"You mean hikari?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Figures."

"Mariku misses hikari-pretty."

"Gimmee names an' I'll go get them." she offered. Mariku's eyes lit up.

"Really?"

"Sure. It's more amusing than sitting here wondering when I get to eat next."

"You're not going to eat them, are you?" Bakura asked suspiciously. She blinked at him.

"No. Why would I?"

"Yeah, silver-thief, that's something you would do." Mariku said, sniggering. Unfortunately, this made something else inside implode, and he actually winced this time, caught off guard.

"I'm Bakura; the hikaris are Ryou and Malik." Bakura supplied.

"Right." she said with a fanged grin, and disappeared like a flame being blown out.

* * *

Lucifer, inside the broom closet, was cursing to himself. This was a potential, 'Bad, Very Bad,'situation.

Damn girl. Who could expect the daughter of the emotionless Filora and even more emotionless Zangan to actually feel empathy or even pity? Cruel twists of fate was what he should have expected when he decided to hide here.

He had worked himself up into a state of (quiet) frenzy and had been reduced to biting his sleeve when he caught the bit about incomplete souls.

They weren't even complete souls? Then their power must have been gravely reduced by now. They couldn't have been separated for long, or they would already not be functioning.

Heheheheh. So he might have a chance after all. Incomplete, HUMAN souls could not stand against the Lord of Hell.

Lucifer stood up and put his hand on the knob, only to find it yanked open and firelight spilling in.

Two demons were outlined in the eerie, flickering outside-runoff. Silver hair, pale skin, blonde hair, golden skin, swirling blue and black cloth, and two freakily riveting, eye-emblazoned gold things were bathed in flowing blood. Twin pairs of eyes, alighted with blood-lust and insanity, respectively, focused on him. Fangs appeared in predator's grins.

Oh shit. He was screwed.

"Hello, Lucifer."

"How would you like to play a little game with us?"

* * *

"Malik? Are you okay?" Ryou asked. The slight burn had increased its intensity, spreading all over his body and flaring whenever he moved. The physical discomfort had grown over the three and a half hours since it had first hit, yes, but it hadn't yet reached unbearable.

More of a problem was the fact that Malik had been supposed to go _home_ three hours ago.

"I can't... breathe. Does that sound... okay... to you?" the Egyptian demanded, panting, lavender eyes wild.

"That was Rishid. On the phone a minute ago."

"Oh Ra!" Malik cried, sitting up from where Ryou had situated him on the couch. "He can't know I'm–" He cut off, wheezing, "ra... damn... it... all..."

"I told him that I was making dinner and would it be okay if you stayed the night? He said yes. But to call _him_ next time."

"Oh, good..." Malik responded. "Now I know... how asthmatics feel." he muttered.

Ryou sighed, worried, and, ignoring the searing pain that movement caused, went to see if anything in the medicine cabinet could help.

It was on his way back that something shimmered into being in front of him. He dropped the bottles in shock as a girl, barefoot, with a short skirt and tank top, uncurled from a catlike position in front of him.

Ryou stared. She was taller than him and was so skinny there was no way she wasn't an anorexic.

She looked at him with cold black eyes framed by messy fire-colored hair. Ryou blinked, trying not to stare and not succeeding. She extended one arm and placed a hand flat against his chest. It burned like fire, making him yelp.

"Incomplete soul. Where's the other one?"

Other one? Incomplete soul? Wha– could she mean Malik? And perhaps because Yami had banished Mariku and Bakura? And who on Earth could she be?

"Other one? You mean Malik?" he asked, pointing to the room he'd been about to return to. "And who on Earth are you?"

She smiled, a fanged expression all too reminiscent of Bakura at his most evil.

"It would be more appropriate to ask, "Who in Hell are you." And with that she grabbed his wrist and towed him over to Malik.

"Hey-! Ow, stop it!" he protested. It wasn't just the pain ignited by the pressure- he could feel his skin blistering from the heat of her hand.

"Here you are." she said, pressing a hand to Malik's chest. Malik gasped and sputtered something unintelligible- and probably Arabic- at her.

"Doesn't matter." she told them. "You're about to be transformed into spirits anyway."

"What the hell–?" Ryou asked.

"Yes, Hell. I'm taking you to Hell, good observation." she said, the note of amusement in her voice revealing the evil pleasure she took in her distress.

"What do you mean?" Malik asked breathlessly.

"I'm reuniting a couple of incomplete souls. It's that simple. Happy?"

"Wait, reuniting? You mean–"

"There is one Bakura and one Mariku waiting for you in Hell. Ready?"

"NO!" Malik said, mirroring Ryou's emotions exactly.

"You may say good by to Earth for now. Three. Two."

Ryou's world froze for a second, dissolved around him, then reappeared in a flurry of flames.

"One."

"Hikari-kin!" Ryou's eyes cleared to reveal Malik having been tackled to the ground by an over exuberant Mariku.

"What in hell!"

"You, yadonushi." a familiar, if slightly breathy, voice remarked from behind him. Ryou whirled around and stared for a moment. Forgetting about the pain that quick movements and contact caused, he threw himself at the pale, black-clad spirit of the Ring.

"I didn't even realize how much I missed you! I- Hey. I don't hurt anymore." he exclaimed. Bakura blinked at him, taking a deep breath as if it was his first in a while.

"Incomplete souls." the strange girl who had brought them here stated. Remembering her presence in the room, all four turned to face her. She was standing in the middle of the room, lounging against nothing and examining her nails.

"Incomplete souls," she stated again, "cannot function on the solid levels unless both parts are nearby."

"Solid levels?" Malik asked, no longer breathless, but sounding rather squashed as Mariku had yet to get off him.

"Hell and Earth. Though your form is technically a 'spirit' form, due to the (rather fatally, to human bodies) high temperature of Hell, you're still physical. Reikai, the spirit world, is insubstantial, but does require soul completion. Nonexistence, and, I'm supposing, wherever it is you sent Lucifer-"

"The Shadow Realm!" Mariku interjected.

"Are the places that do not require complete souls." she finished.

"Wow." Ryou said, unable to think of anything else to say while still taking all this in.

"So who the hell are you, anyway?" Bakura asked.

Her smile was a spine-chilling combination of the worst of Bakura and Mariku- the kind of thing that Yami had mind-crushed out of them.

"Me? I'm Shinryakuteki Kazan, commonly referred to as Shinrya. Congratulations on taking over Hell, by the way. You've inspired me to hurry up on my lifelong dream."

"What's that?" Malik asked.

"I'm going to take over Earth."

* * *

Notes this time:

Hikari-kin: 'Kin' is the word for 'gold' or 'metal' in Japanese. Since Malik gets described as 'golden,' all the time, I figured Mariku substituting 'kin' for a suffix would work.

Yadonushi- I don't know the exact definition: I will admit to it being one of those things I saw in other fanfics and used. It means something along the lines of "landlord," though.

Reikai: The spirit world. Yes, this is a concept that I took from Yu Yu Hakusho.

Spirits and Souls:

If I failed my job as a writer and you still don't get the 'spirit' and 'soul' thing, here's the rundown:

Spirits: A solid, physical form, used in Hell.

Souls: Insubstantial, 'other plane of existence' type form. The kind that Bakura and Mariku inhabited before they were banished.

Physical Planes: Earth, Hell, and Nonexistence.

Insubstantial Planes: Reikai, Shadow Realm.

Complete Planes: Earth, Hell, Reikai.

Incomplete Planes: Nonexistence, Shadow Realm


	5. Down to Earth

.:.Hellfire.:.

Summary: Yami no Malik and Yami no Bakura have been sent to Hell. And they're about to drag their hikaris down with them.

Chapter 5: Down to Earth

* * *

"What?" Ryou cried in shock.

"I'm going to go bring the Earth to the brink of utter destruction, and rule whomever, or whatever, survives. It's fairly simple, ne?"

"Well, yes, but–" he protested.

"It seems like a fairly dumb thing to do." Bakura remarked. All the constriction had left him the minute his hikari had touched him. "I mean, wouldn't you need subjects if you want to rule it?"

"I told you. I'll rule whatever survives. If it can't survive a bit of molten rock, I don't want it."

And with that, she wavered out again.

"She'll be ruling a kingdom of archaea, then." Bakura said nonchalantly, looking around at the apartment they were in.

"Bakura!" Ryou cried. Oh great. Here we go with the hikari being a good-hearted person. "While I'm amazed you paid enough attention to my Biology class to learn about archaea, we still can't let her reduce the Earth to that!"

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because! Think of all the innocents who'll die! And our friends!"

"Your friends, Ryou, your friends. I don't understand your attachment to those damn friendship worshipers."

"Bakura has a point _there_, but we can't leave Rishid." Malik said.

"Or Isis-nee-chan!" Mariku put in.

"I was getting there, 'Ri!" Malik said, irritated. "We can't leave them there to die!"

Damn it. He was outnumbered. Damn the Egyptians for having attachments.

"Come on, Bakura, we have to find a way to go back and stop her!"

He scowled at his hikari, which was a mistake. The boy was peering up at him through white-silver hair, brown eyes glowing in the firelight from outside, a pleading look on his face.

"Oh, fine!" he snapped. "At least I'll be able to rub it in that blasted Pharaoh's face that I escaped."

"Thank you, 'Kura!" Ryou cried, linking himself around his neck.

"Stop it." Bakura muttered, glaring at the ceiling.

"So what does silver-thief think we should do to get out?" Mariku asked, draping himself over Bakura from behind.

"What makes you think I'd know?"

"... are we dogpiling Bakura?" Bakura stared at Malik, horrified.

"Yeah!" Mariku agreed enthusiastically, distancing himself to allow his hikari to tackle Bakura, after which he flung himself on.

Bakura twitched.

"Get. Off. Me."

"Not until Ryou gets on!" Malik was muffled between him and Mariku.

"Um..." Ryou hesitated.

"Tadaima!" a voice rang through the house. "Shinrya?" The girl they had met before, Filora, came into the room and blinked. "Am I interrupting something?" she sniggered.

With a growl Bakura crawled out from under the lanky forms of the other yami/hikari pair. She blinked.

"If you weren't dressed different I'd say I was seeing double. Did you find Lucifer?"

"Yep!" Mariku chimed. "But then fire-hair–"

"Mariku, do you just have a problem with using names?" Bakura demanded.

"Yes. Fire-hair said she was going to take over Earth now!"

"Mariku, 'Riku, who's this?" Malik asked, bouncing slightly. The blonde never ran out of energy.

"Filora." Bakura cut in. "She knows the other girl."

"Oh, Shinrya?" Filora asked. "She's my daughter."

"She– what?" Mariku asked, agape.

"So she's finally gone to start taking over Earth? Funny, I thought she was going to wait another five years, at least."

They all stared at her.

"But we need to go stop her!" Malik cried.

"Oh, really?" Filora raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah!" Mariku shouted.

"We're not gonna let her kill our friends!" Ryou said fiercely. She blinked at them.

"Well, I'm not gonna stop you from stopping her!" Filora said. "If you wanna, go ahead, have fun. Need a lift into the Earth dimension?"

Bakura snorted in amusement at the looked of shock and disconcertion on the other three faces, enhanced by the strange lighting.

"Oh... okay..." Ryou said cautiously.

"Sugoi!" Mariku said, bouncing.

"Right. Off we go then."

* * *

Malik blinked as the furnishings of Ryou's apartment replaced the other one. The first thing that caught his eye was his own body lying on the couch.

"Ra! It's me!" he cried, running over to it. However, his hand went right through it, dissipating it like mist. Meep. That was freaky. He looked up, to where Ryou was waving a hand through what had been his body.

"What the–?" Mariku asked.

"Shinrya turned you to the 'physical spirit' form so that you would be able to safely enter Hell. That leaves behind a 'ghost' of your Earth physical form that dissipates when you come back."

Malik blinked.

"Are all fire spirits deep endless wells of information?" Bakura snapped.

"No, just those that've lived over 2000 years."

"I've lived over three thousand years," the silver-haired thief complained. "But I don't know all of this crap."

Malik considered informing him of the admission inherent in this statement... but decided against it.

"Well, obviously you weren't out and about–"

At this, Malik couldn't resist.

"No, he sure wasn't." he said, snickering. Mariku broke down laughing, and even Ryou had to stifle a giggle. Only _Ryou_ would ever _giggle_. It was cute. Adorable, even.

Bakura glared at them until they stopped laughing. (It took a while for Mariku to calm down).

"Well, ANYhow... You're all physical, and good to go, and whatnot... I'll go find my kid, and, oh! I'll send Ukemi over to keep an eye on you. Don't mind who's with him; Zangan can be a little... odd, sometimes."

"Wait, what?" Mariku demanded, but she was gone. He whirled around and grabbed Ryou, picking up his arm and staring at it. Ryou stared too, his pretty, long-lashed eyes open wide in shock.

"But... I thought the yamis could only touch each other and their own hikari..." he whispered.

Bakura strode over and tugged on a lock of Malik's hair.

"Yow! Hey, don't do that!" Malik protested, swatting the offending hand away.

"It would appear that it is now otherwise." Bakura remarked unconcernedly.

"You know what we can do with this?" Mariku asked.

"Rub it in the Pharaoh's face?"

"Well, that too, but I was thinking of... going to get something to eat!"

Bakura face faulted. Malik rolled his eyes. Should have figured if you'd been in Hell for hours and the Shadow Realm for even longer, and then suddenly gained a physical body, you'd be hungry.

"I can fix us something." Ryou said, going to the kitchen.

"Do you have any of that hamburger stuff?" Bakura asked eagerly, following him.

Malik grimaced in distaste.

"No, I don't, and I wouldn't be giving it to you half-raw even if I did have it!"

* * *

Ryou was cleaning up after the meal– Mariku had offered to help, but Ryou wasn't sure whether to trust him with breakables- when the doorbell rang.

"You expecting visitors?" came Bakura's harsh voice.

"Ack! It's probably Isis-nee-sama and Rishid! Hide me!" was Malik's cry.

"Why would you want to hid from them?" Mariku's confused answer.

"Well, let's think about it. I 'stayed the night' over here when I wasn't supposed to, I didn't bother to tell them I was unable to breathe for the better part of two hours- stop that, I'm all right _now_, oh, and did I mention some crazy anorexic lady transported us to Hell and–"

Ryou, drying off his hands, walked by the bickering pair and opened the door. And looked up. And up. And up.

The tallest person he had ever seen stood there. At least, he thought it was a person. Strange featherlike appendages replaced ears, and jewels adorned his forehead and lined the edges of his emotionless, coal-black eyes. Burgundy hair was tied back in a ponytail, sweeping out to touch the floor. The ends looked strangely black and charred. A long, loose black robe reminiscent of a Jedi's hid his other clothes from view, aside from a peek of a red shirt and blue jeans sticking out at the bottom.

"Ah... hello?" he greeted them, wondering who on Earth _this_ could be. Behind him he felt the stares of his yami and the two Egyptians.

"Okaa-san said we should come here!" a voice piped. The cloak flapped aside to reveal a tiny shadow of the tall person- except the jewel on the forehead was black, as was the hair, and the eyes were bright red. He was wearing shorts and a white button-down shirt with stockings and tennis shoes. A plushie bearing a remarkable resemblance to the person whose leg he clutched was tucked under his arm.

"Oh! Oh! Oh! They must be the Zangan–" Mariku bounded up alongside him to point to the shadow, "and Ukemi," he pointed to the tall person, "people!"

Two sets of jewel-lined eyes blinked at him, then the black ones settled in a glare.

"_I'm_ Zangan. This is the squirt."

"Douzo yoroshiku!" the little one piped. "I'm sorry we were late. I had to feed Daddy."

"Um." was all Ryou could say.

* * *

Notes:

Tadaima: I'm home!

Sugoi: Amazing

Nee-sama/chan: big sister. The honorifics imply different levels of respect. (Thus we understand why Malik calls her 'sama' and Mariku calls her 'chan')

Okaa-san: Mother

Douzo yoroshiku: Literally, 'please take good care of me;' the equivalent of 'nice to meet you.'

Thank you to all readers! And especially reviewers! (hint hint)


	6. In Which Yami is Greatly Shocked

.:.Hellfire.:.

Summary: Yami no Malik and Yami no Bakura have been sent to Hell. And they're about to drag their hikaris down with them.

Chapter 6: In Which Yami is Greatly Shocked

* * *

Bakura woke up the next day warm and definitely better than he had been– well, in a long time.

He opened his eyes and quickly shut them again when light streamed in, burying his face in the pillow. The pillow moved.

Holding back a yelp- that was what RYOU would do, not him- Bakura opened his eyes again, more slowly this time. He found himself face-to-face with Mariku. The other one-time-spirit looked softer when he was sleeping; more like his hikari, rather than the vengeful incarnation of his hikari's pain.

Of course the position became more difficult when he realized that the pillow was actually said hikari, and his own hikari was snuggled happily in between himself and Mariku, one leg wrapped over him possessively. It was one big jumble of limbs and, as the first one awake, there was no way to extricate himself.

A pair of large, innocent, jewel-lined red eyes appeared above him.

"Is it okay if we make breakfast?" Ukemi asked, very softly so as not to wake the others.

"Ano... sure." he replied, giving the child an odd look. Really, why ask _him_? It wasn't like Bakura would care if they wrecked the kitchen- Ra knew how many times he himself had done so.

"Thank you! Should I come wake you up when we're done? It's just, you look so comfortable."

Comfortable! Bakura wanted to scream. This looks _comfortable_ to you! And yet, he realized, stemming the flowing tide of heat to his face, it wasn't actually physically uncomfortable.

"Umn, sure." he said. The little thing ran off.

Now, what to do? Put quite simply, nothing. Bakura drifted back to sleep.

Not ten minutes later, he was awakened by a gentle shake. He started when he realized that it was Ryou rolling into him to avoid Ukemi rather than the child himself.

"Mn... I don't wanna get up, five more minutes 'sis-nee-sama..." came the voice of his pillow as Malik curled around his head. Mariku was pulling Ryou off Bakura as he clung to the white haired hikari as if he was an anchor to sleep. Bakura tried to sit up and realized Malik was on his hair.

"I don't think there's ever been a _less_ restful atmosphere, anywhere!" he growled, extricating his hair from underneath Malik.

"Mn... what!" Mariku awoke with a start.

"Welcome to the world of the living, Mariku. Now finish what you started and pull this lazy hikari off me."

Ukemi blinked wide eyes at them, a pair of cooking chopsticks in hand.

"Umn... breakfast is ready." he said almost guiltily.

"What is _that_ squirt still doing here?" Mariku demanded.

"I dunno, Mariku, why don't you ask him?" Bakura said tiredly. "That was _sarcasm_, you psycho." he added when the blonde was about to. "Now make Ryou stop using me as a stuffed animal; he and Malik have been playing tug of war with me all night, it seems."

The dark spirit sniggered at him, but happily pulled Ryou into his lap as if he were a rag doll.

"Malik, get up right now before you're grounded into the afterlife!" Bakura said in his best imitation of the female Ishtar. Malik bolted upright, lavender eyes wide and searching before settling on Bakura.

"'Kura!" he screeched. "Don't _do_ that! You wanna give me a heart attack!"

"Of course." Bakura said smugly.

"Why are you all in my bed?" came Ryou's sleepy voice.

"Why do you think, yadonushi? We all got drunk last night and had wild crazy smex, don't you remember?" Bakura asked cruelly. Malik stared at him a moment before Mariku's wild laughter broke the stunned silence.

"...Bakura, when did you learn the word 'smex?'" Ryou asked incredulously.

"From him." Bakura answered, pointing to Malik. "Remember that conversation you had in English class some... oh, I don't know how long ago. Time passes differently in the Shadow Realm."

"It's been about two month since you got banished..."

"Three months, nine days, and... 28 hours, as of now." Malik ticked off on his fingers.

"Guess we know who cares more about their yami." Bakura snorted.

"Umn... excuse me, but breakfast's going to be cold... or Daddy's going to eat it all." Ukemi's quiet comment broke into their conversation.

"Breakfast?" Mariku asked eagerly.

* * *

"Hey Ryou?" Malik asked.

"Yes?" was Ryou's quiet response, as the white-haired teen turned chocolate eyes that sparkled in the sun on him.

"Why are those two with us?"

The other boy blushed. (Malik really didn't know why- he'd learned not to question what made Ryou blush. He wondered briefly how much he'd blush if– Malik pushed that thought away, along with the thoughts about how Bakura _let_ him call him 'Kura, and his attraction for his own darker half.)

"Well, apparently Ukemi is supposed to be keeping an eye on us, and since he refuses to leave his dad, Zangan is coming along too." Ryou admitted.

"Oh." That half made sense, actually. Who would have thought a four-year-old kid would make such a good cook? Or would be looking after his own father?

"Where are we going?" Ryou asked the two yamis for the hundredth time. Just like the other 99 times, all he got was a short, 'You'll see when we get there,' from Bakura.

"Why don't you try?" he pleaded to Malik. Malik had his own ideas about where they were going, but he was pretty sure he shouldn't tell Ryou.

"And get the same result?"

"Mariku talks more."

"No he doesn't, he's more honest. There's a difference."

"Yes, I guess there is. But he might tell you _something_!"

"Or 'Kura might cut him off, like the last nine times I tried."

"Well, I've tried a hundred, why don't you make it ten?"

"Fine, fine. 'Riku, where are we going?"

"You'll see!" Bakura answered before Mariku could so much as open his mouth. Malik shot Ryou an 'I told you so' look.

"Here we are!" Mariku announced. They gazed up... at the Kame Game Shop.

"Mariku..." Malik asked, stunned. "Why, in Hell, are we _here_, of all places?"

"To rub it in the Pharaoh's face that we have physical bodies and he doesn't, of course." Bakura answered, being accompanied by enthusiastic nodding from Mariku.

"Oh dear..." Ryou said.

"And of course, that we got out of the Void of the Shadow Realm." Mariku added. "Ring the doorbell, hikari-kin."

Malik rolled his eyes, but did as told. This promised to be amusing.

"Coming, just a minute!" came Yuugi's cheerful voice. "Yes?" The door was opened.

"Um, hi, Yuugi." Ryou said nervously.

"Hi, Ryou! And Malik... and... umn, who is that?" The smaller boy stared up at Zangan in awe.

"I am Zangan Kazan. That is the squirt." Zangan said simply, pointing to the small, black-haired copy of himself that was clinging to his pant leg with one hand and cuddling a plushie in another.

"Umn, well, that's Ukemi, Zangan's son." Ryou explained.

"Oh!" Yuugi exclaimed, much happier to look at the smaller creature, much closer to his own height rather than nearly double. "How old are you?"

"I'm three years old, but I'm in five-year-old form." Ukemi said shyly. Before Yuugi had a chance to question this, Bakura came out from behind Zangan's cloak.

"You're forgetting about us, Pharaoh's hikari."

"Huh- wha– Bakura!" Yuugi gasped.

"An' Mariku!" Mariku chimed, bouncing up behind Malik and resting his chin in his hair.

"What is the meaning of this!" Yami demanded, taking over.

"Meaning? What meaning?" Mariku asked.

"We just thought we'd drop by and pay a little... _visit_." Bakura added with one of his bone-chillingly evil grins.

"What in hell are you doing out of the Shadow Realm!"

"Hell? Yes, Hell, right in one." Mariku said.

"Just like the Pharaoh, always has to be right." Bakura taunted.

Yami glared.

"How did you escape the Void!"

"Well, that's a funny name for it, really."

"'Very deep pit' might work better."

"After all, 'Void' implies bottomless, and the Void sector is anything but."

Yami was becoming more and more agitated, nearly bouncing up and down in frustration.

"Explain yourselves!"

"Explain? What's to explain?"

Malik nearly laughed out loud at the look of pure frustration on Yami's face. Mariku and Bakura were working in perfect tandem to prevent the Pharaoh from gaining the upper hand.

"How exactly you managed to get out of the Void!" 'So I can take precautions when I send you there again!' was not vocalized, but quite clearly said.

"Well, you see, we can't tell you that."

"It would take all the fun out of this!"

"You might try looking in Hell for the answer, though." Malik added to their diatribe. Yami sputtered in disbelief, then stopped. He looked at Malik. Then the taller, grinning figure of Mariku. Then at Ryou, who was looking shame-faced at Bakura's actions, then at the lounging grave robber himself.

"How in Ra's name did you manage to get physical forms!" he nearly screeched, approaching the range known as 'falsetto.'

"Well, you'd have to go to Hell to find out." Bakura said easily, walking over and propping his chin on Malik's shoulder. "Like we said before."

"You're not going to put me off with curses." Yami said, voice lowered with great effort evident in his face.

"But we're not cursing!" Mariku chimed, pulling Ryou over to him. "Tell him, Ryou."

"It's true. They went to Hell." Ryou said softly. "And then somebody came to take _us_," (he motioned to Malik) "To Hell."

"Because we're... ah... what was the word they used? Insubstantial?" Malik added.

"Incomplete, hikari-kin." Mariku said.

Ryou nodded. "Malik nearly _died_."

"I was not that bad!" Malik protested. So maybe he had _thought_ he was going to die once or twice, it wasn't like that was anything new.

"So why are you here?"

"Because someone we met in Hell... wants to take over the Earth."

* * *

Right... I finally remembered to upload this. :) So, what do you all think? I don't think there's any new wordsI might need to define... So here it is! (Review? -Gives puppy dog eyes- Please?)


	7. Ukemi, Soul Walker

.:.Hellfire.:.

Summary: Yami no Malik and Yami no Bakura have been sent to Hell. And they're about to drag their hikaris down with them.

Chapter 7: Ukemi, Soul Walker

* * *

Once Bakura and the others were gone, Yami had retreated to his soul room, seething. They had answered precious few of the many questions he had, and the few they had answered, they had done so by being infuriating!

He was startled when the door creaked open and revealed, not his hikari, but an intruder, a little being with black hair to his knees drawn back in a ponytail, red eyes decorated with little gold jewels, wearing what looked like a primary school uniform and clutching a plushie with burgundy hair and a black cloak swathing its little stuffed form.

"Well, an intruder. What are you doing here?"

"I just came to find you!" the little one chirped.

Yami scowled. He didn't want anyone invading his soul room again. Innocent-sounding or not, the creature would have to be punished.

"Then you'll have to play a game with me." he snapped. "Find me in the true soul room... if you can."

The kid took in the winding, twisted maze of doors, hallways, and staircases that was Yami's soul room.

"Like hide-and-seek?" he asked eagerly.

"Yes, fine," Yami said crossly. What was the thing trying to pull? Invading souls took a lot of audacity, but to further it by acting innocent? Really. He faded out.

**

* * *

**

Ukemi blinked as the teen disappeared. This place was not at all like his father's soul- an inner Zangan curled in a fetal position in a void of utter darkness, no boundaries, no light except that which seemed to pool around figures.

And the inner Zangan, or "Daddy inside Daddy," as Ukemi put it, was not a happy (or coherent) person. This one played games!

Happily Ukemi walked over to the closest door and pulled it open. A whistling noise alerted him and he manifested an instant high-intensity flame. The falling cylindrical block was engulfed and twisted out of shape, melting to its earliest form- molten rock.

He blinked at the twisted shape spreading across the floor.

"Oops." he said guiltily. "I hope that's not too hard to clean up."

The next door he tried resulted in spikes being thrown at him (which, like wise, resulted in a startled spike in his body temperature, which resulted in the spikes' melting). Ukemi stared at the molten metal seeping into the cracks in the floor.

"I know that's going to be hard to clean up."

And so went Ukemi Kazan's immortal trek across Yami's soul room. Eventually he even stopped wincing when he decimated some clever contraption into primordial ooze.

"Boy, he sure picked a dangerous place to play hide-and-seek." he commented to himself as h pulled his tiny body out of the pit that had opened up under his feet. "I hope he's okay."

Three doors later, Ukemi found himself back where he had started.

"Oops." he muttered. "Guess I'm not doing very well." He looked over at the puddle of hard iron coating the floor that marked where the last door he had tried had attempted to turn him into a pancake. Thinking of that, Ukemi wondered how Daddy was doing. He knew the tall alien creature didn't bother to eat if he wasn't there. How long had he been playin gthis game? No more than three hours, he thought.

Ah well. Best get looking again.

* * *

Yuugi wondered where Yami had gone after Bakura and Mariku had finished telling him what was going on. He wanted to talk to his aibou about it, but... his aibou was not forthcoming.

It took him three hours to get frustrated enough to check, which in retrospect wasn't actually that much. But after the worrying news they'd had and not a peep out of Yami, Yugi decided to go look for him.

Looking inside himself, he found the door to Yami's soul room and opened it. He didn't expect what he found.

Which was kind of an understatement, considering that what he found was a small child that looked suspiciously like– Yes, it _was_ that Ukemi kid that had accompanied Ryou, Malik, Mariku, and Bakura.

The child looked up at him with eyes that were unnervingly innocent for all that they were bright red and shadowed by a chin-length curtain of black bangs. A black diamond jewel in his forehead and little gold ones lining his eyes glinted in the cold half-light that illuminated Yami's tomb of a soul room.

"Oh, hello!" the child said, scrabbling to his feet.

"What are you doing in here?" Yuugi asked, too flabbergasted to be polite. Ukemi didn't seem fazed by it at all, though.

"I'm playing a game!" he announced cheerfully. "I'm playing hide-and-seek with , umn, that other person who looks a lot like you!"

"Yami." Yuugi supplied flatly. What was Yami thinking, starting a Shadow Game with a little kid? One who obviously had no idea what was going on? Frazzled nerves only excused so much.

"Right, Yami-san. I'm Ukemi! I'm sorry, I don't think I know your name."

"Oh! Um, I'm Yuugi." he answered. For a four year old, the kid sure talked very well.

"Yuugi-san! Will you help me find Yami-san?"

"Sure!" Yuugi agreed. The kid's optimism was catching, though he knew interrupting a Shadow Game was a potentially life threatening activity.

"Yay! Because I keep destroying things when I try to open a door, and I'm afraid it will be really hard to replace..."

Yuugi eyed the metal coating that the floor nearby seemed to have acquired, then the doorless entryway Ukemi was standing in front of.

"How the heck did you do that?" he asked, amazed.

Ukemi shrugged. "I'm sorry. I freaked out a little."

'A little' was an understatement. Yuugi reminded himself not to get on the bad side of this kid.

"Come on." he said, leading the way up a staircase. "How long have you been playing?"

"I don't know- a couple hours?"

"Why didn't you just leave?"

Shocked red eyes blinked at him.

"I couldn't do that! Then Yami-san might wait forever for me to find him!"

So the kid didn't even know he couldn't leave? Yami was _so_ getting told off for this.

Coming to the first door in a while, Yuugi opened it cautiously. Not cautiously enough. A pillar slammed out of the doorway, intent on crushing him to the other side of the hallway–

A wave of blistering, devastating, skin-popping _heat_ raced past him, and the pillar melted into a white-hot blob of lava, which pulled back into the room Ukemi closed the door and looked ruefully at the lava seeping out from beneath it and morphing the bottom of the door.

"I'm sorry. I overreacted." Ukemi said sorrowfully, touching the pink marks on Yuugi's cheek. He jerked away from the small boy's touch, which, while not _searing_, was certainly uncomfortably warm against the heat-scarred skin. He laughed nervously.

"No, that's okay. If you hadn't done anything, I'd have been wall pancake."

"More like waffle." Ukemi said gravely, finger tracing the grooves in the gray bricks. Yuugi made a face.

"Yami!" he called, voice ringing through the empty corridors and twists and turns of the maze. When there was no response he called again. "Yami! Where are you!"

Yami faded through the wall next to him.

"Yuugi! You can't be in here, I'm dealing with an. . . intruder. Aibou, what is that thing doing with you?" The slightly taller teen folded his arms and managed to look regal while still directing a childlike glare at Ukemi.

"Yami. Ukemi-kun doesn't even know what a Shadow Game _is_. He didn't know that he wasn't allowed to leave here, because he was too worried about _you_ to even try leaving, he _saved _me–!"

Yami was quailing before his hikari's righteous anger. Okay, so Yuugi was more annoyed than angry, but maybe it would be a good thing if the King of Games learned to judge his opponents better.

"What, did you expect me to let him off easy because he looked innocent? If I did_ that_ then we'd be surrounded by pretenders! What's to prove that he really is innocent?"

"_And_ he really was sorry just because I got banged around a little while he saved my life, and–"

"Please! Please don't fight." Ukemi came in between them, pulling agitatedly at a strand of his black hair. "None of that matters. _I_ don't really matter. I just exist to make sure Daddy doesn't kill himself."

Yami and Yuugi broke off their stances simultaneously to stare at the little apparition before them.

"You... say what?" Yuugi managed.

"The Daddy inside Daddy is not a happy person. The place where I find him isn't all pretty like this either."

This time it was Yami's turn to croak, "What? My soul room is _not _what you'd call pretty."

Innocent, sparkling eyes gazed up at them.

"Yes it is! Daddy inside Daddy lives in this dark place, just black, except, where we are you can see us. This is light, and pretty and amazing and _huge_ and not as cold as where Daddy inside Daddy lives."

There was only one thing to say for it: Oh Ra, this kid had problems.

"So... " Yami switched tacts. "How did you get in here in the first place?"

"You disappeared and looked really unhappy so I followed you so you wouldn't start saying, 'I want to die,' like Daddy inside Daddy!"

All of this was said with such bright and childlike cheerfulness that Yuugi almost wanted to cry. God, the kid didn't even know how bad he had it.

"Well, Yami's not going to kill himself." he said with a tremulous laugh. "Or, at least, he better not."

Yami smirked at him.

"With fear of _your_ wrath? Do I look stupid?"

Yuugi decided to refrain from the comment,

"Some people think so."

* * *

So. I have no idea where my post schedule has gone, and whether this was due last Wednesday or the next. XD So I'm just posting it.

This was originally going to be an extra, bonus chapter, but it seems to have become a plot point in the story... Heh, heh.


	8. To Oz! er, Isis!

.:.Hellfire.:.

Summary: Yami no Malik and Yami no Bakura have been sent to Hell. And they're about to drag their hikaris down with them.

Chapter 8: To Oz! ... er, Isis!

Alternate title: In which kisses are tossed about much like candy.

* * *

Bakura, Ryou, Mariku, and Malik had been on their way to warn the others of the Ishtar household for some time before their tagalong, the freakishly tall and (in Bakura's vision) slightly half-dead looking Zangan, stopped.

"What is it?" he snapped.

"I lost the squirt again." Zangan said in a deadpan voice. "Damn."

Ryou, next to Bakura, was staring at Zangan in out-and-out horror. Bakura wasn't sure why; he'd probably react much the same way as Zangan if he lost a kid in a crowd. But then again, if he had done it, Ryou would be staring at _him_ with that same horror-stricken look.

"What are we going to do!" Ryou shrieked, breaking the silence. Ra, did his hikari have to be so _loud_? If he took the time to reflect he would probably realized that _he_ was the one who had taught the normally-quiet boy to be loud, but Bakura didn't have time to re- oh, wait. Damn. He already had.

"Nothing." Zangan replied, turning the pockets of his coat inside out.

"What, you think he'll be in your pocket?" Malik asked as his yami poked at the many pockets being revealed in the cloak, eyes alight with interest.

"No." he replied morosely. "But sometimes he is."

"He fits in a pocket?" Ryou said.

"Silver-thief-hikari... _Mariku_ would fit in one of these pockets." Bakura watched with amusement as Ryou realized Mariku was addressing him.

"Not exactly _true_, Mariku, but close enough."

"Hikaaaaari-kiiiin, are we theeeeere yet?" the boisterous yami complained.

"Ten more minutes, Mariku." Malik sighed.

After counting to ten, Mariku started up again. Or, rather, he tried to, but found Bakura's hand clamped over his mouth.

"Save the world, remember?" he hissed into Mariku's ear, ignoring the taller soul-turned-physical-being's slight shudder. "It was your idea. Stop shuddering about it."

"But you're missing the point of that reaction." Mariku said, voice deep and rich and commanding as it had been at the height of his insanity. Bakura blinked.

"Mariku. I know you normally don't make sense, but right now you're _really_ not making sense."

"That's because you and Ryou don't know hell from high water in your emotions."

"An' what the he–"

He was cut off quite effectively when Mariku turned about and kissed him. Brief, chaste; the kind from someone who has never kissed before, but the shock of his warm lips upon his won was enough to put Bakura quite thoroughly out of commission- for the moment.

"Mariku! Do you want to get there or not?" Malik yelled at them. The hikaris had gotten quite far ahead, as Malik had apparently convinced Ryou to stop freaking over the lost kid.

"Coming!" Mariku called, grabbing Bakura's hand and trotting after the black, billowing rob-figure that was Zangan.

"What was that about?" Bakura hissed at him. Mariku looked back over his shoulder, one of his, 'I know something you don't know and I'm gonna torture you with it,' smiles on his face. In the sun his hair and skin seemed almost to glow.

"Come on, silver. I've seen how you look at us. I know how we look at you. You were doing it just now."

What the– was he talking about- Oh Ra, he was. The worst part of it was, he was right. Bakura sighed.

"First sign of the apocalypse, you know, the psycho being right."

Mariku smiled in a self-satisfied way.

"... I'm going to have to teach you how to kiss, though."

* * *

Malik wondered what was keeping their yamis, but considering how his mind link with Mariku was reacting, he was pretty sure he didn't want to know. Wait. Oh, hell, yes he did. He wanted to copy them, too.

...And there was Ryou, walking along oh-so-innocently and beautiful in that same, yet opposite way to Bakura that Malik knew he and Mariku were too much alike to emulate. (It might have something to do with them being exactly the same, save bad qualities that were rather intensified in Mariku.)

Malik shook that thought out of his head. He couldn't just jump the boy in the middle of the street like that.

Ryou blinked, shock etched on his face, and started to swivel around just as Malik felt another wave of intense pleasure and happiness roll along his soul-bond. He caught the other teen's cheek before he could get all the way around to look at the others.

Ryou stared at him in curiosity and vague surprise. Malik moved gently until they were very close together, and suddenly the brown eyes widened in realization.

"You mean- they're like that?" Ryou squeaked.

Malik rolled his eyes. Only Ryou could get away with squeaking and not lose face.

"Ryou..." he sighed, face almost touching the other boy's cheek. "Don't you realize- we're all like that." He could feel Ryou smile.

"Well, yes, I do– better than Bakura, at least."

"'Kura's in denial."

"Why do you call him that?"

"'Cause he lets me get away with it, because he doesn't realize he is."

"What if I told him he was?"

"...He would, at this point, probably not care. Especially as," -he checked behind them, "at this point, he is kissing my yami silly."

Ryou laughed, making his flying hair glitter in the afternoon sun, and then descended on Malik's mouth. For a few seconds, he forgot the world existed.

"Where'd you learn to kiss like that?"

"I don't know. Just instinct."

"Pfft. 'Kura's been influencing your subconscious mind."

Ryou shrugged. "Maybe."

"Hey you two!" Malik called. "Ready to keep moving?"

Mariku and Bakura seemed to awaken from whatever stupor they were in. Mariku ran up and draped himself over Malik's shoulder.

"I su-ppose." he sighed dramatically. Malik watched Bakura twine himself around Ryou out of the corner of his eye.

It was only after they started moving again that Malik realized that Zangan had been there throughout the entire thing.

(Ten minutes and many random passerby's stares later)

"Isis-nee–samaaaa!" Malik called as he opened the door cautiously. He waved all the others but Ryou back, not wanting to spring it all on his brother and sister at once.

"Malik Ishtar!" came the angry yell. Malik paled under his tan.

"Oh shit. She's mad."

The Egyptian woman came into view of the door, bearing down on the pair of teens in the living room- or more specifically, her brother.

"Do you know what time it is?"

"Umn... the afternoon."

"Where have you _been_! I called after noon and neither Ryou _nor_ you were there! You better have a good explanation!'

Ryou glanced nervously over at Malik.

"Umn... well, you see..."

"Spit it out before you find yourself grounded into the afterlife!" It wasn't too bad; at least she wasn't naming numbers yet. Rishid had come into the room and was looming in the corner.

"Umn, we were, in, umn, I guess..." He _really_ didn't want to say he'd been dragged into Hell in front of Rishid, especially after he had spent half an hour trying to convince the man to let him go to Ryou's unattended.

"Malik..." Isis used the low and deadly voice this time. He was screwed unless he thought of something fast. Why had he come back here again?

"Don't hurt hikari-kin!" Mariku shrieked, bouncing in and pulling Malik away from his sister.

"Mariku!" Malik groaned. Ryou stifled a smile.

"Well, he just did a class A job of ruining your plan." Bakura's smug voice came from the doorway.

"And you did a 'class A' job stopping him, 'Kura." Malik responded dryly. Bakura had no chance to make a rejoinder, as Isis found her voice at this time.

"What the _hell_ are they doing in physical forms!"

"Wow, everybody's so perceptive today." Bakura faked amazement. "Of course, I wouldn't expect anything less from the amazing once-possessor of the Millennium Tauk."

Isis's glare indicated she was not amused.

"Umn... Mariku, you explain." Malik said, panicked.

"I can help." Bakura said ever-so-NOT-helpfully.

"'Kura, don't make me MAKE you shut up."

"And how are you planning to do that?'

"Well, you see, silver thief and I were sent to the Shadow Realm." Mariku was explaining, covering them up.

"Yes, yes, we KNOW that much!" Isis said, annoyance etched into every angle of her body.

"And, as it turns out, the Void sector has a bottom." Mariku continued hurriedly. "This seems to lead into Hell."

"What?" Isis screeched.

"Do you want the story or not? Anyhow..."

Bakura opened his mouth to add to the narrative, and Malik promptly covered it with his. Bakura reacted very favorably, seeming to forget all about the other conversation and deepening the kiss of his own accord.

Malik came back to reality to find Rishid staring at them very pointedly. He jumped away from the dazed tomb robber and laughed nervously, very glad Isis was caught up in his yami's explanation of events. Ryou had taken over for their side, leaving out the excruciating physical effects of dimensional separation .

"And then we came to warn you because we have to go save the world from an insane fire spirit!" Mariku finished.

"Not that you're one to talk about insane." Bakura put in. Mariku tugged on a lock of silver hair.

"You're just jealous."

"Speaking of that..." Isis got the dangerous glint in her eyes. "You two!" she snapped at Bakura and Malik. "_What_ was that earlier?" Oh, Ra protect them.

"Umn, we gotta go, Isis-nee-sama, Rishid, save the world you know!" And he turned, racing off. Mariku followed half dragging Ryou.

"You haven't seen a kid, halve you?" Zangan asked, bending slightly to stick his head in the door. Isis and Rishid shook their heads, staring slightly at the tall, cloak swathed figure.

"Thought I'd ask..."

* * *

There. I did it. I actually typed it up and posted it. Just to reassure anyone actually reading this, I'm not dead! I haven't abandoned it! It will be brought to a conclusion!

This is just a little fluff chapter. It doesn't _contribute_ to the plot, per se, but it was fun to write.


	9. The Beginning of the End

.:.Hellfire.:.

Summary: Yami no Malik and Yami no Bakura have been sent to Hell. And they're about to drag their hikaris down with them.

* * *

Ryou was not sure what to make of what was happening. Really, his life had gone from boring and lonesome to crowded, loud, urgent, and anything generally used to describe a doomsday situation.

Confusing was the perfect adjective that came to mind. First random skinny girl in a short skirt comes along, drags you to Hell, next thing you know her mother is transporting you and your yami back to Earth to stop her, and then more fire spirits, and missing kids, and the next thing you know your beautiful– he did not just describe Malik as beautiful– oh crap, he did; he gave up, it was true– more-than friend was kissing you and his yami was kissing your yami and then you were trying to explain to his (more terrifying than Hell) sister and then you were running off again.

Ryou stopped to take a mental breath, and could feel Bakura laughing at him faintly through their mind link.

_You're so flustered by simple kisses, yadonushi._

**Don't give me that. You're the one who 'shocked' this link wide open when Mariku got you the first time. **

Bakura retreated hastily, closing the link after him.

"Where exactly are we headed now?" he asked. This question produced a stumped silence.

"Let's see, it's been, what, three hours since we left Yuugi's?" Malik asked. Bakura nodded lazily.

"And we can't do anything if we don't know where fire-hair is." Mariku remarked.

"...So basically the world is doomed?"

"She hasn't done anything yet." Zangan's empty voice cut into their conversation, making Ryou jump- he always forgot the man was there, despite the astonishing height and dramatic black robes.

"How do y'know?" Mariku asked, draping himself over Ryou to get closer to the being and stare.

Ryou jittered nervously at the contact, trying to ignore how his skin seemed to burn, eerily reminiscent of the separation pangs, wherever Mariku's bare skin met his own.

Zangan looked at them coldly.

"My powers are the same as hers. If she had begun her work, I would sense it." he explained, 'This is obvious,' leaking from his tone like acid from a smashed battery.

"...So, we wait for activity?" Ryou suggested.

"Not much else we can do." Malik said glumly.

"... Mariku, get off my hikari, he's not used to so much physical contact." Ryou blushed at Bakura's comment as Mariku complied, finding that he missed the strange burning sensation as soon as it was gone.

"I'm bored already." Mariku muttered.

Silent concurrence ran through their ranks.

"_There_ she is!" Zangan exclaimed, showing more emotion than ever before.

"Where?" Mariku asked eagerly, Bakura not far behind him.

"Where else?" Zangan asked. "Mount Fuji."

* * *

After the unfortunate Shadow Game had ended and Ukemi had been released from their soul, Yuugi had been greeted by his grandpa's hand waving back and forth in front of his face.

He blinked, then recoiled from the moving appendage dangerously close to his face.

"Welcome back, Yuugi." Sugoroku Mutou greeted him.

"Oh, hi, Grandpa." Yuugi managed.

"You were out for quite a long time– oh, who's this?" The man broke off to examine Ukemi.

"This is Ukemi." Yuugi explained. "He was kind of the reason I was out for so long."

"Yami-san and I were playing hide-and-seek!" Ukemi piped up. "Only Yuugi-san said it wasn't really and then he yelled at Yami-san and we came back here!"

"He was in Yami's soul room." Yuugi explained.

"Indeed?" Sugoroku exclaimed, eyeing Ukemi with new respect. "How on Earth did he get in there?"

"We have no idea." Yuugi sighed. Ukemi stayed quiet, staring up at them with gentle, jewel-lined eyes.

"Who were you talking to out there?"

"Ryou and Malik..." Yuugi said, not wanting to worry his grandfather with the information that the (rather unbalanced) yamis of the two teens had returned from the Shadow Realm with physical bodies.

"What did they want?" Sugoroku asked with innocent curiosity.

"I'm not sur; they wanted to talk to Yami." Yuugi said truthfully. There was _no way_ he was going into worrisome things like evil fire spirits, Hell, and the end of the world. Never mind the fact that one of the fire spirits was standing right next to them.

"Hm. I wonder–" He stopped when Ukemi suddenly squeaked.

"I'm sorry." he said. "It's just that... Shinrya just activated Mount Fuji."

"What!" Yuugi exclaimed, staring at Ukemi.

"Who's Shinrya?" Sugoroku asked, looking quite confused.

"Shinrykuteki Kazan, three years old, Earth age 17, daughter of Filora and Zangan Kazan, Fire Spirit, wants to take over the Earth by destroying it and ruling the survivors." Sugoroku was now staring in pure shock. Ukemi shrugged. "She's my sister." he added. "I'm four seconds older."

Yuugi groaned. So much for his plan to let his Grandpa stay in the (pleasant) dark about all the _really_ weird (even by their standards) stuff that had been going on lately. The Shadow Realm was one thing, but Hell was a whole 'nother bucket of fish.

"What's this about Hell!"

Ukemi looked puzzled. "You don't know about Hell?"

"No, I know about Hell, or, at least, I thought I did!"

"Grandpa, calm down." Yuugi said. "Ukemi is a fire spirit. He came from Hell along with Ryou and Malik, who apparently got dragged there because of Mariku and Bakura."

"We have to go!" Ukemi said urgently, tugging on Yuugi's sleeve. "Or, at least, I have to go. Shinrya and Mommy might live in Hell, but Daddy and I live here!"

"Oh. Right!" Yuugi agreed, and Yami took over. "We'll try to explain later, Grandpa– Sorry."

"That's all right." Sugoroku said amiably, looking slightly dazed. "World to save and all that."

"Bye!" Ukemi bowed to him and grabbed Yami's hand. "Come on, Yami-san." And they disappeared.

* * *

A quick trip through Hell later, Yami found himself right next to one of the banes of h is existence. A certain silver-haired thief smiled evilly at him.

"Why, hello, Pharaoh. How on _Earth_ did you get here? Or did you enjoy your trip through _Hell_?"

"Shut up, Tomb Robber." Yami growled. Ukemi detached from his hand to run over to the impossibly tall figure with long burgundy hair and attach himself to his leg, squealing, "Daddy!"

"So _that's_ where he was!" Ryou cried happily, startling Yami. It just seemed unnatural to see the gentle, white-haired boy with the savage thief standing right next to him. It seemed even more unnatural when the tall, lanky figure of Mariku came up and draped himself over the smaller boy.

"See, we _told_ you not to worry." Mariku said. Ryou batted him over the head halfheartedly.

"You said no such thing." he admonished.

Yami blinked at the way they were acting. It seemed... not unnatural, but wrong. Weren't the two darker halves supposed to be evil megalomaniacs with aspirations to take over the world?

**You've really only seen them at their worst, Yami.**Yuugi reminded him. **Would you like someone to judge you if they'd just seen that one time with Kaiba?**

Yami winced. Yuugi really had him there. _Point taken. But you have to admit athat seeing a complete psychopath go lovey-dovey is a bit strange. _

**Never said anything about that one. **Yuugi agreed.

"You're stealing my hikari again." Bakura was admonishing. "I think I'll steal yours."

Malik snickered and pulled on Mariku's hair.

"Marikuu, come save me!" he exclaimed. Mariku disentangled himself from Ryou, whirling around and hefting the slightly smaller Egyptian like a rag doll. He ignored Malik pounding laughingly at his shoulders and kissed him swiftly.

Bakura was smirking as he pulled Ryou toward him and bent him backwards in a classic movie kiss. When he pulled away, Ryou was wearing a light pink glow over his cheeks.

"Lovely as watching lovebirds, is, don't you think we have a slightly different priority here?" Yami snapped, fed up. Bakura looked over at him, a smirk pasted on his pale features.

"Jealous, are we?"

"Bakura!" Ryou gave him a feeble glare.

Malik broke off from his yami, panting slightly, and hopped down from his arms.

"Yami has a point though. Shouldn't we be finding that Shinrya girl?"

"That will not be necessary." A cold, vicious voice cut into their conversation. Yami looked up for the source.

A tall, painfully thin girl stood on a rough outcropping of volcanic rock, sulfuric vapors billowing the red-orange cloak with singed edges that she wore. Short hair waved, making it look even more like fire. Her entire body said, 'Obey or die.'

But creepiest of all were the black eyes, showing no emotion but a spark of ambition.

A glowing pink-orange ball of fire accumulated in her hand, lighting her pale face with a glow not unlike the lighting in Hell. The effect was heightened by the fact that the volcano had begun to belch black smoke into the air, obscuring the sun and making it into a sort of black dusk.

"You will have the honor of being first to die at my hands."

* * *

Hm. That appears to be the end of chapter 9. Sorry if it's not much after the long, long wait. (winces)

Not that many people care, seeing as this isn't being READ, or so I can assume by the review numbers...


	10. End Game

.:.Hellfire.:.

Summary: Yami no Malik and Yami no Bakura have been sent to Hell. And they're about to drag their hikaris down with them.

Chapter 10: End Game

* * *

"K'so." Bakura muttered to himself. He wrapped a hand around the Millennium Ring, preparing to send her soul to the darkest, coldest sector of the Shadow Realm he could– but he was cut off by the concentrated fire she sent his way. He dodged out of the way just in time, smelling his hair singe.

"I know the properties of your item... You seek to seal me in that pathetic 'Shadow Realm' of yours, don't you?" Shinrya laughed menacingly, turning a bit of flame into a whirling fireball and lobbing it at him.

Mariku advanced on her with the Millennium Rod, but she whirled about and threw another fireball at him.

"You're not going to get me either. You think you can do better than me because you're _older_, you bugs? Ha! I deal with _him_ every day!" Shinrya pointed to Zangan, who was standing impassive. Ukemi had disappeared once again.

"You could help, you know!" the Pharaoh yelled.

"I am. " Zangan replied with a slightly satisfied smirk. "If I wasn't here that volcano would be blowing you guys sky high by now."

"There's a hopeful picture." Bakura muttered as Mariku rejoined him. Mariku flashed him a fanged grin.

"You keep her busy and I seal 'er?" the blonde asked.

"Sure." Bakura agreed, kissing him briefly. He ran off to the side.

"Do you guys have any sense of decorum?" Yami demanded.

"Decorum?" Mariku shrieked. "What's decorum?" Insane laughter bubbled from his throat as he dodged another high-temperature missile.

"And do you not care about which one among yourselves you're with?"

Bakura rolled his eyes, grabbing Yami by the collar and jerking him out of the way of another blob of fire. The ground where the fiery arsenal landed was melting into molten ooze, creating 'land mines' to beware of all about the craggy mountainside they were on.

"What's to care?" he asked. "We're really only a pair with four bodies." 'Heh.' he said to himself as Yami went silent. 'Got him there. That was so worth saving him for.'

He grasped the Ring again, feeling the swell of power from Mariku. A blast seared past him and nearly melted the gold in his hands. A yelp and shattering of power signaled that Mariku had been similarly bombarded.

A yell from Malik startled him into whirling to face where the hikaris had been encamped. They were throwing stones wildly, obviously fed up with feeling useless. The stones turned to lava within three yards of Shinrya, who was now a glowing spot in the midst of black ash falling from the sky.

Bakura attempted to clear his eyes, to no avail. They were pretty much fighting blind.

"Pharaoh!" he called.

"Tomb robber?" Yami's voice responded at his left.

"Can you seal her without the warning power surge?"

Yami reflected a moment.

"Yes, given enough time." he said finally.

"Right. Do it. You need to send her to the Northern Ocean, far under as you can get and cold as you can get." Bakura bounded away, pulling a knife from a hidden pocket in his jeans. He could hear Yami say softly, "Game Start."

Oh great. One of the Pharaoh's silly games. He briefly wondered what it was, but was distracted when a glowing blob of molten rock flew through the flurry of ash toward where he knew the hikaris were sheltering.

"Ryou! Malik! Move your asses!" he called.

"What?" echoed back at him. He lunged through the isolating cloud, vainly trying to reach them before the chunk of lava could.

Suddenly it stopped, glowing with a faint orange light that overlayed the black of Shinrya's control. The dark red blob slowly turned orange, then yellow, then white, its intensity so great that Bakura could see through the black haze to Mariku, jusmping about in a maze of molten spots, Ryou and Malik staring at the thing that was threatening their safety, and that little shrimp Zangan clone who was the source of the orange aura.

Shinrya's attention was focused on the war of wills going on with the lava. Bakura took the opportunity to throw the knife at her. It sunk into her heart– or, at least, it would have had it made it past a five-foot radius of her.

Nevertheless, her furious black gaze turned on him. The blazing lump of magma went flying straight for her, splattering into several thousand infintesimal lumps. Bakura dived under an overhang.

"Damn it, Pharaoh!" he growled. "What is taking you so cursed long?"

The mountain underneath their feet rumbled, unable to take the stress of two powerful fire spirits fighting for control of it.

"Damn it!" Shinrya was shrieking into the roiling clouds of ash. "You are all just sparks! Your power is nothing! I will send you all to the pits of Hell!"

"We've already been to Hell!" Malik yelled, chucking a good-sized rock at her. She hissed and sent it back. Bakura couldn't see them from his position, but he heard Malik yelp and a scramble.

"Pharaoh! What the hell's keeping you?" Bakura yelled.

"Enough!" Shinrya said, finality in her tone. Her black aura framed her body, but was overlaid by the red-orange glow from the heat pulsing from her. "This is not the Hell you've been to. That place is soft... pathetic! Hell on Earth, you'll learn, actually burns!"

The red glow increased in intensity. A sound like thunder rent the air, and the ground underneath Bakura's feet began to move.

"Anytime, Pharaoh!" he heard Mariku roar.

"30 seconds!" Yami said. A yell of alarm followed.

Bakura leapt aside, just as the rock wrenched itself apart. Waves of heat made his skin tighten, then blister, drying him in an instant. The chasm seemed to go to the center of the earth.

"Welcome to Hell!" Shinrya's deepened, maniacal voice cut through the roaring of the stone and the fog of ash. Bakura cursed mentally.

Tongues of fire were reaching out from the rift, forming into hands that grabbed at him. One got his hand, and a smell not unlike cooking meat resulted.

Bakura bit back a scream and forced himself not to retch. The thing was towing him under.

"Bakura!" three voices screamed.

"Game End!" Yami declared. "Penalty Game!"

Shinrya screamed her laughter at this pathetic statement.

"You will never get me! Your item cannot perform that task!"

She was still laughing as she was swallowed up by the Shadow Realm.

The pit to the center of the Earth slammed shut, the fire gone as if it had never been. Mariku was kissing his burnt hand, though the smoke rising from his leg attested a close escape as well.

The ash clogging the air began to slowly thin, but Bakura still couldn't see further than a yard or two. Ryou was fussing over Mariku's leg. His and Malik's clothes bore burn holes and singe marks, a bright pink burn on Malik's cheek and a similar one gracing Ryou's arm.

Yami limped over, obviously having had the same brush with 'Hell' that Mariku had.

"What in the Shadows took you so long!" Bakura snapped, turning away from the other three as Mariku turned his attention to Malik's cheek, salving it with his tongue.

"I had to make it a game so that she couldn't feel the power." he explained irritably. "If you could survive for five minutes, you won."

Bakura snorted. "That has to be the most pitiful excuse for a gam you've ever come up with, Pharaoh!"

"Well excuse me. It sure saved your ass in the nick of time!" Yami snapped. "Now the question is, how to we get home?"

"I'll take you!" a familiarly innocent voice piped up. Bakura turned to see Ukemi and Zangan through the thinning ash. "Daddy and I are going back to Hell for a while anyway."

"What about the volcano? Are we sure it's safe?" Ryou asked worriedly.

"It's been calmed." Zangan said flatly. "It will cause no harm."

"Come on!" Ukemi said, reaching for Bakura's uninjured hand. With his other hand he was holding Yami's shirt. Malik, Ryou, and Mariku mad a chain off of him, and they flickered into the streets of Hell. Ukemi paused.

"It's yours, you know." a purring, cheerful voice Bakura recognized spoke out. Filora was lounged against a wall, fiddling with one of the riveted strips on her wrist. "Hell, I mean. You got rid of Lucifer. You two," she pointed lazily at him and Mariku, "can stay forever."

Ryou's eyes widened. "Bakura, you wouldn't–"

"'Course we won't." Mariku answered for him.

"Yes, I suppose we can put up with the Pharaoh if we go back to Earth." Bakura sighed melodramatically. Yami glared.

"Fine." Filora said, just as offhand.

They disappeared with Ukemi.

* * *

Bakura looked around where they had reappeared. It was the Kame Game Shop, to his slight chagrin. The old man at the counter started when they appeared, eyes going wide as he took in their appearance. Bakura sneered.

Clothes that had been fine were singed tatters. Moonglow and sunshine hair were mad dingy grayish-black from ash. Pale and golden skin was smudged, grimy, and shiny pink spots erupted where burns had occurred. The Pharaoh was not in much better shape.

"Hi, Grandpa." Yami greeted, limping forward to lean on the counter. "Did you miss me?"

"What on Earth happened?" Sugoroku exclaimed. "You look like you went through a burning building."

"Worse." Bakura said, smirking.

"Try volcanoes and Hell!" Malik put in. Sugoroku stared at Yami for confirmation and started when the teen nodded.

"Well, we should get you fixed up!" the man declared, coming around the counter.

"Uh-oh." Malik muttered.

"Run time." Mariku agreed. They burst into a sprint with Malik half-dragging his yami. Bakura followed with Ryou, leaving a stunned Pharaoh and the Game shop owner.

"Looks like somebody's squeamish about being fussed over." Bakura teased the Egyptian, leaning over to kiss him and vaguely aware of Mariku doing the same to his hikari.

"What, and you aren't?" Malik asked as they broke apart.

"Depends on who's doing the fussing."

They were getting plenty of stares as they went down the street covered in small and large burns, Mariku limping slightly. It didn't help that they were in a shifting group of switching pairs.

"There's just one thing." Ryou spoke up as they approached his apartment. "Why didn't you stay? You could have ruled Hell, the two of you. I know you've always had that kind of ambition. So why come back?"

"Yadonushi..." Bakura shook his head over what he was about to say.

"Who needs Hell when you have Paradise?"

* * *

"You know..." the woman beside him, who could, he supposed, be generally referred to as his wife, said. He didn't respond, waiting for her to continue.

"They're arguing about who's going to rule Hell now, in the State building. The thing is, all their candidates are incompetent losers."

Zangan blinked at this.

"And I should care... Why?" His emotions had been buried for so long; ever since he came to this pathetic little planet which matched him in years. The ambition that had lead him to try to take over his planet had been buried.

Ukemi, his son, appeared next to him, grabbing onto his pant leg. The boy was a little shadow of him, but he was always cheerful, excitable, _living_. He had not been changed to a block of stone like his father.

"What was Mommy talking about?" he asked.

"She said that I should go take over Hell."

"Mm." the boy said, biting on a finger. His large red eyes stared up at Zangan, though he didn't bother to look. "Maybe you should."

"What?" Zangan actually bothered to look down at the shadow clinging to his pants leg.

"Well, nobody else can do it right." Ukemi pointed. Out.

Zangan dwelled on this thought a bit.

Hell had none of the insurmountable annoyances Earth had, like languages and religions. (Really, why did the people need so many of those things, anyway?) Hell's annoyances were just the people, and people, even fire spirits, could be whipped into shape.

With a whirl that sent his black robs flying dramatically, Zangan set off for the State building.

The squabbling masses of candidates looked up as he entered, flinging the doors aside with little care for decorum.

"What are _you_ doing here?" one squawked.

"Who are you?" a particularly uninformed one asked.

Zangan smiled, a cold, merciless expression. Those who were laughing at his appearance, the child clinging to his leg, or anything else, hushed instinctively.

"I am Zangan Kazan. Those who do not wish to die, follow me." he announced. He saw several of them shiver as those who knew of him hurriedly told those who didn't.

No one hindered his passing as he advanced to the head of the crowd. They were all too busy trembling in fear.

Good. It was about time somebody started ruling in terror around here.

OWARI

* * *

A/N: Well... I'm sorry about any cheesy lines in here... (and there seem to be a lot... ) and the sucky action scene. I fail at battles and I know it.

So, no matter how much this entire story sucked, here it is, finally finished.

A great big thanks to those few who actually read it. I'm sure I chased a few people off with the OC's. I'm sorry. I just really like those OC's. There wouldn't be a story without them. (sweatdrop)


End file.
